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realizing you were attracted to a different gender? How did you differentiate between him just not being the right guy for you vs. Nadia at Jayne’s Beard event, a queer women’s supper club in NYC. Those were the early signs that made me start to question. She smiled and winked at me, just an offhand glance, and my heart was beating so fast that my hands were shaking. That happened again with another woman shortly after - a lesbian singer I met at a conference. I was so taken aback I had no idea what to make of it. I have no idea what I said in that conversation, and I couldn’t get my heart to stop racing for an hour after. My heart was beating so hard I was sure she could hear it, and I blushed a deep red. She sat down and folded her arms behind her head, so casually confident, and for the first time in my life, I lost all control. I remember, early that spring, I was meeting with a woman I was just getting to know. I tend to be a very controlled person, and without necessarily realizing it, I started to let my mind go where it wanted to go. Those secrets, and the pain of them, pushed me to look at how I’d changed from the person I was when we first started dating.
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I realized something wasn’t right in early 2014, over nine years into our relationship, when he told me a series of secrets he’d been hiding that undermined everything I knew and experienced of our marriage. We were married for six years, and even the hard years at the end of the marriage had a comfort and ease to them.Īt what point during your marriage did you realize something wasn’t right? He was creative and thoughtful and curious about everything. What I remember most now is how much I loved his company. We started dating in college, at the start of our sophomore year, and we were together for almost 12 years.
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Our marriage was comfortable, and full of warmth and care. How long were you married? How long did you know him? What was your marriage like? Etc. This is what she had to say… Tell me about your history with your ex-husband, just like the hard facts. In an effort to help others who may be going through something similar, I interviewed Nadia about her experience. Her story is emotional, but one I’m incredibly excited and proud to share. Her bravery, self-realization, and honesty is awe inspiring and inspirational to say the least. Her life was turned upside down as she did the previously unthinkable, and opened up to her (ex) husband after realizing that she was attracted to women. There are many feelings, people, sometimes children, and a household to consider and in one instant- everything could change.Īnd for my friend Nadia, it did. If you were married to a man, and then over time realized you may be attracted to women, how would you navigate this? Obviously, there is no easy answer.